Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 27

Thread: Old Gunslinger

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Brookville, PA
    Age
    53
    Posts
    456

    Old Gunslinger

    Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who -- in his day -- had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West. The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.

    The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg."

    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

    "Sure will," replied the old-timer.

    The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

    "That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?"

    "Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw"

    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.

    "You bet it will," said the old-timer

    The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player.

    "Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy "I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?"

    The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."

    The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

    "No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all."

    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

    "No," said the old-timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your a$$, and it won't hurt as much."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    127.0.0.2
    Age
    52
    Posts
    2,362
    back from hiatus.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    192.168.10.100
    Age
    39
    Posts
    4,486
    LOL!! Very funny! Kinda sounds like F1 is that pianist...
    "Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    "Honesty is the First Chapter in the Book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson

    Desktop:
    AMD Phenom II x6 1100T @ 3.3Ghz
    MSi 890FXA-GD70
    16GB G.Skill DDR3-1600
    Asus HD6950 2GB GDDR5 PCI-Ex16
    4x 1.5TB WD SATA w/64MB cache in RAID10
    2x Asus 22x DVD/CD +/-RW DL SATA
    Rosewill Xtreme Series 950W PSU
    2x 23" 5ms Asus Widescreen LCD
    Laptop:
    15" Aluminum MacBook Pro
    Intel Core 2 Duo 2.53Ghz
    4GB DDR3 @ 1067MHz
    320GB SATA 7200RPM HDD

    **View My Forum**

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    255.255.255.666
    Posts
    2,056
    I have seen it before but still very funny joke. :wink:

    Quote Originally Posted by Gizmokid2005 View Post
    LOL!! Very funny! Kinda sounds like F1 is that pianist...
    ...and I was the Hot Shot (flashbacks of the 'avatar' incident a few weeks back!) who was messing with the Bull

    ...lol.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    127.0.0.2
    Age
    52
    Posts
    2,362
    Quote Originally Posted by TurcoLoco View Post
    I have seen it before but still very funny joke. :wink:



    ...and I was the Hot Shot (flashbacks of the 'avatar' incident a few weeks back!) who was messing with the Bull

    ...lol.
    lets not go thru that again....
    back from hiatus.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    192.168.10.100
    Age
    39
    Posts
    4,486
    ROFL!! yeah....BAD TL
    "Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    "Honesty is the First Chapter in the Book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson

    Desktop:
    AMD Phenom II x6 1100T @ 3.3Ghz
    MSi 890FXA-GD70
    16GB G.Skill DDR3-1600
    Asus HD6950 2GB GDDR5 PCI-Ex16
    4x 1.5TB WD SATA w/64MB cache in RAID10
    2x Asus 22x DVD/CD +/-RW DL SATA
    Rosewill Xtreme Series 950W PSU
    2x 23" 5ms Asus Widescreen LCD
    Laptop:
    15" Aluminum MacBook Pro
    Intel Core 2 Duo 2.53Ghz
    4GB DDR3 @ 1067MHz
    320GB SATA 7200RPM HDD

    **View My Forum**

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    255.255.255.666
    Posts
    2,056
    Quote Originally Posted by Gizmokid2005 View Post
    ROFL!! yeah....BAD TL
    Before I head out, I wanted to stop by and noticed it is you, Math and I are on at the same time 'manhandling' the Freak Show again!

    Possible outcomes of our crazy '3 Stooges' type of postings on the same threads over and over:

    A. F1 getting crazy and tired of the chatter/flaming going on and on and suddenly and oddly closing the thread(s) we were abusing. 90% chance

    B. F1 flipping out and owning one of us (likely to be me...again)by extreme use of his online darkforce power because we annoy the hell out of him by mucho smacktalk such as A & B. 70% chance

    C. All of the above. 50%+ chance

    D. F1 having a minor accident at home and having a short-term memory loss and we continue our crazy fun reign on this forum. 0.05% chance



    hehehe....I know I am so dead.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    192.168.10.100
    Age
    39
    Posts
    4,486
    Quote Originally Posted by TurcoLoco View Post
    Before I head out, I wanted to stop by and noticed it is you, Math and I are on at the same time 'manhandling' the Freak Show again!

    Possible outcomes of our crazy '3 Stooges' type of postings on the same threads over and over:

    A. F1 getting crazy and tired of the chatter/flaming going on and on and suddenly and oddly closing the thread(s) we were abusing. 90% chance

    B. F1 flipping out and owning one of us (likely to be me...again)by extreme use of his online darkforce power because we annoy the hell out of him by mucho smacktalk such as A & B. 70% chance

    C. All of the above. 50%+ chance

    D. F1 having a minor accident at home and having a short-term memory loss and we continue our crazy fun reign on this forum. 0.05% chance



    hehehe....I know I am so dead.

    x2. ROFL!
    "Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    "Honesty is the First Chapter in the Book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson

    Desktop:
    AMD Phenom II x6 1100T @ 3.3Ghz
    MSi 890FXA-GD70
    16GB G.Skill DDR3-1600
    Asus HD6950 2GB GDDR5 PCI-Ex16
    4x 1.5TB WD SATA w/64MB cache in RAID10
    2x Asus 22x DVD/CD +/-RW DL SATA
    Rosewill Xtreme Series 950W PSU
    2x 23" 5ms Asus Widescreen LCD
    Laptop:
    15" Aluminum MacBook Pro
    Intel Core 2 Duo 2.53Ghz
    4GB DDR3 @ 1067MHz
    320GB SATA 7200RPM HDD

    **View My Forum**

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    127.0.0.2
    Age
    52
    Posts
    2,362
    Every thread I post in, I expect to see it closed or deleted next time Im on...

    but hey, its his fault for leaving us here to run amuck as we want...
    back from hiatus.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    192.168.10.100
    Age
    39
    Posts
    4,486
    ^ ROFL! But we need some activity around here anyways....
    "Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    "Honesty is the First Chapter in the Book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson

    Desktop:
    AMD Phenom II x6 1100T @ 3.3Ghz
    MSi 890FXA-GD70
    16GB G.Skill DDR3-1600
    Asus HD6950 2GB GDDR5 PCI-Ex16
    4x 1.5TB WD SATA w/64MB cache in RAID10
    2x Asus 22x DVD/CD +/-RW DL SATA
    Rosewill Xtreme Series 950W PSU
    2x 23" 5ms Asus Widescreen LCD
    Laptop:
    15" Aluminum MacBook Pro
    Intel Core 2 Duo 2.53Ghz
    4GB DDR3 @ 1067MHz
    320GB SATA 7200RPM HDD

    **View My Forum**

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •