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Thread: Another Oldie but I Doubt it is a Groaner

  1. #1
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    Smile Another Oldie but I Doubt it is a Groaner

    Memo: Cussing at work

    It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

    Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner:

    1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
    INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

    2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
    INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.

    3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
    INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

    4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
    INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.

    5) TRY SAYING: Really?
    INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!

    6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
    INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

    7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
    INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.

    8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
    INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

    9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
    INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

    10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
    INSTEAD OF: Why the f____ didn't you tell me sooner?

    11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
    INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

    12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me??
    INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

    13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
    INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

    14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
    INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.

    15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
    INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

    16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
    INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

    17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
    INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?

    18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
    INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.


    Thank You,
    Human Resources

  2. #2
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    That's interesting.
    I think this sums it up...
    back from hiatus.

  3. #3
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    Seen it before, but still funny! I thought about using some...and I may have to if it keeps up like today...
    "Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    "Honesty is the First Chapter in the Book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson

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  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gizmokid2005 View Post
    Seen it before, but still funny! I thought about using some...and I may have to if it keeps up like today...
    x2 Despite being a quiter, seemingly slower week, it was also hella annoying and tiring!

    I can't wait till next Summer to quit this job and move to Phoenix or wherever else faith takes me...

  5. #5
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    Well, this week has been hell...we acquired a new company...and all of their procedures for t-shooting were hell....the Company is in WI and we are in MI...it's BS....
    "Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    "Honesty is the First Chapter in the Book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson

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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gizmokid2005 View Post
    Well, this week has been hell...we acquired a new company...and all of their procedures for t-shooting were hell....the Company is in WI and we are in MI...it's BS....
    The Tech Support Dept. of a company in WI having bad troubleshooting procedures, what are the chance of that?

    lol

  7. #7
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    ROFL!! They didn't have bad t-shooting, but they are such a small company, they just had one person to handle all of their DSL tickets and one for all of their Cable....and the customers are VERY jittery...
    "Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    "Honesty is the First Chapter in the Book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson

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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gizmokid2005 View Post
    ROFL!! They didn't have bad t-shooting, but they are such a small company, they just had one person to handle all of their DSL tickets and one for all of their Cable....and the customers are VERY jittery...
    When the person is not-so-tech savvy, they tend to get jittery with technical problems, especially if it is hard to get good and timely help.

    The higher my position got in the 'Tech Support' ladder, the more client/customer venting I have to put up with before I even hear the problem. I deal with Loan Consultants who thinks every second they are on the phone talking to a tech is $$ they are losing and to an extend that is true but dealing with their attitudes and egos is what makes my job hard not the actual issues themselves...
    'Deal with it or change careers!' is what I say to myself while I burb out loud and hang up on them, then call them back after 5-10mins and tell them some bs like 'we are having problems with the phonelines, etc'....lol...

    Of course the last part was a joke, I have never done that...


    ...or may be I did....I can't recall!

  9. #9
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    I get that CONSTANTLY! I have had people on DIALUP call in. Residential accounts and they'll give us the BS that "This has already cost me hundreds of dollars and if it doesn't get fixed RIGHT now, I'm leaving." Of course, the problem is ALWAYS on their end....

    Or we get the customer who is a residential DSL, and says every hour they are down they are losing $x000 dollars....it's like, if that's the case...get a freaking T1....

    I have thought about doing that...but being that ALL of our calls can be monitored at any time I can't....

    And the people aren't really jittery about tech problems, they are just jittery about change....
    "Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    "Honesty is the First Chapter in the Book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson

    Desktop:
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  10. #10
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    Wait till you get to the level that when the equipment is down, its $100,000/day and your but is on a plane at 0500 after getting two hours sleep trying to get all your stuff together to go.
    back from hiatus.

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