Hey! I'm designing a current standards for programs (business only),
but it's in Beta. Can you review the following rules for me? Thanks!
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Standard 1: Always, ALWAYS make it cost money. I don't care if it pops
up a message saying "You Rule" on it every 3 seconds, it's $34.99 or
bust. If you are in dire, dire, and I repeat DIRE ONLY needs, make a
30-day trial. Only make sure it stops working after 3 minutes and call
it a "glitch". Recommend buying the program to fix it.

Standard 2: One word: Exaggerate. Does it not do anything, just adds a
few registry files? "Powerful but annoyance free: Set it and forget
it." Does it show porn as advertising? "Added bonuses that might apeal
to most adults!" Does it contain spyware, adware, viruses, worms,
trojans, or another form of malware? "Free bonus programs inside!" Does
it not even work? "Beta Version". You get the idea.

Standard 3: No refunds! (See Standard 2.)

Standard 4: USE APPEALING WORDS. You must use each of the following
keywords at least once: Powerful, Great, Beta, Works, Free, Download,
Satisfation, Love, Guarenteed.

Standard 5: Answering people's support questions is /SO/ 2005. On your
website, say the support email is "support@(yourdomain).(end)". Set the
email to automatically reply with "Our support email has changed!
Please send all support questions to questions@(yourdomain).(end).",
then auto-delete it. Set your "questions@(yourdomain).(end)" email to
auto-reply with this: "Our support email has changed! Please send all
support questions to support@(yourdomain).(end).", and then auto-delete
it.

Standard 6: Who needs rules? Ebaum's World lies and steals but they
still get fans. Too cheap to hire graphic designer's? Steal. Too lazy
to mix your own backround music? Steal. Don't feel like making your own
website design? Do I even need to say it?

Standard 7: Who needs information, for that matter? 3 lines of text, a
download button, some forged Malware-free button, and you're good to go!