Sternodox wrote:
> The Easter Vacation
>
> By Rev. Sternodox
>
> Once upon a time there was this one senator that decided he would try
> to pass a law that would make it legal for everybody to vote on
> whether or not to have their dicks cut off. He thought that since
> America is a democracy that it would be a good idea if everybody
> voted on it and that it would prove to the world that America wasn't
> a fascist dictatorship. So he got the law passed and it came time to
> vote but the registration forms didn't get all mailed out in time and
> so there was only this one guy that was registered and he was homo
> that collected pictured of guys getting their dicks cut off so he
> could jack off to them. And so when CNN did a straw poll of that one
> guy as he came out of the voting booth everybody realized that there
> was a 100 percent chance (plus or minus two percent) that everybody
> would have to have their dicks cut off by Federal law. But a loophole
> of the law forgot about girls not having dicks so Congress had to
> pass an emergency measure allocating billions of dollars to pay for
> reconstructive surgery so that these Mexican doctors that specialized
> in Female to Male Trans-sexual surgery could come in and turn all the
> women into men. So they spent a collective 50 thousand hundred hours
> grafting dicks on to all the girls in America so that they could
> then cut the dicks off and obey the letter of the law. But there was
> this one girl that was a lesbian and had already got a dick grafted
> on to her and so she had to get a Congressional Dispensation allowing
> her to cut her dick off and then get another one grafted on so they
> could cut THAT one off so she wouldn't be breaking the law. But she
> all of the sudden fell in love with the homo and so she cut her own
> dick off before the Dispensation was signed and so she got convicted
> of a felony and had to go to prison where two of the guards were
> secret pre-operative trans-sexuals that were trying to hurry up and
> sew their own dicks back on real quick before anybody found out, so
> they could get them cut off again and still be legal. But one of the
> other guards that was born in Mexico but wasn't really a Mexican
> because his parents were from Mongolia, saw them trying to sew their
> dicks back on and blackmailed them for 88 billion thousand dollars to
> not tell on them. But the two guards were so upset about it that they
> accidentally sewed the wrong dicks on them and since they were
> different blood types they died of it. Then this other loop hole in
> the law became apparent where the senator forgot to specify that you
> had to be alive to have your dick cut off so they started in digging
> up everybody that was in all the graveyards so they could cut off
> their dicks so that all the states wouldn't lose Federal funding. So
> they were cutting off all the dead people's dicks and having to graft
> dicks on all the dead people that were girls and one of the surgeons
> got nausea so bad because of the smell of operating on fifty or
> hundred year old corpses that he puked on one of the other doctors
> and got into a giant fight with him over it and killed him and they
> found out that the puking doctor was really a girl that had pinned a
> fake dick onto the outside of her underwear to fake out homos with.
> So when the senator found out about it he realized that the law
> wouldn't be feasible and he introduced another law to make the first
> law invalid. But by then everybody had all got their dicks cut off
> except for this one guy and everybody went to that guy's house and
> the girls tried to talk him into not being a homo so he could ****
> them and the homos tried to talk him into BEING a homo so he could
> butt**** them since he was the only guy left with a dick. But the guy
> had already decided to become a eunuch so he could sing in that one
> choir over in Vienna but didn't realize that they didn't have that
> choir any more and when he found out he got depressed and killed
> himself and wrote in his will that his dick was to be used by the
> girls on Mondays, Wednesdays and Friday and by the homos on Tuesdays,
> Thursdays and Saturdays. But nobody could agree on who got to use the
> dick on Sundays so they all got in a giant war and killed everybody
> on the whole planet.
>
> The End

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