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"Lord Avner Williamsburr Smythe" <smythe@unknown.net> wrote in message
news:7rGib.731$Cj.105024@news.uswest.net...
> Harlow wrote:
> > For years the electrical utility companies have led the public to
> > believe they were in business to supply electricity to the consumer,
> > a service for which they charge a substantial rate. The recent
> > accidental acquisition of secret records from a well known power
> > company has led to a massive research campaign which positively
> > explodes several myths and exposes the massive hoax which has been
> > perpetrated upon the public by the power companies.
> >
> > The most common hoax promoted the false concept that light bulbs
> > emitted light; in actuality, these 'light' bulbs actually absorb DARK
> > which is then transported back to the power generation stations via
> > wire networks. A more descriptive name has now been coined; the new
> > scientific name for the device is DARKSUCKER.
> >
> > This newsletter introduces a brief synopsis of the darksucker theory,
> > which proves the existence of dark and establishes the fact that dark
> > has great mass, and further, that dark particle (the anti-photon) is
> > the fastest known particle in the universe. Apparently, even the
> > celebrated Dr. Albert Einstein did not suspect the truth.. that just
> > as COLD is the absence of HEAT, LIGHT is actually the ABSENCE of
> > DARK... scientists have now proven that light does not really exist!
> >
> > The basis of the darksucker theory is that electric light bulbs suck
> > dark. Take for example, the darksuckers in the room where you are
> > right now. There is much less dark right next to the darksuckers than
> > there is elsewhere, demonstrating their limited range. The larger the
> > darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Darksuckers in a
> > parking lot or on a football field have a much greater capacity than
> > the ones used in the home, for example. Because of their larger
> > capacity, they need larger wires to transport the dark back to the
> > power company.
> >
> > It may come as a surprise to learn that darksuckers also operate on a
> > celestial scale; witness the Sun. Our Sun makes use of dense dark,
> > sucking it in from all the planets and intervening dark space.
> > Naturally, the Sun is better able to suck dark from the planets which
> > are situated closer to it, thus explaining why those planets appear
> > brighter than do those which are far distant from the Sun.
> >
> > Occasionally, the Sun actually oversucks; under those conditions,
> > dark spots appear on the surface of the Sun. Scientists have long
> > studied these 'sunspots' and are only recently beginning to realize
> > that the dark spots represent leaks of high pressure dark because the
> > Sun has oversucked dark to such an extent that some dark actually
> > leaks back into space. This leakage of high pressure dark frequently
> > causes problems with radio communic ations here on Earth due to
> > collisions between the dark particles as they stream out into space
> > at high velocity via the black 'holes' in the surface of the Sun.
> >
> > As with all manmade devices, darksuckers have a finite lifetime
> > caused by the fact that they are not 100% efficient at transmitting
> > collected dark back to the power company via the wires from your
> > home, causing dark to build up slowly within the device. Once they
> > are full of accumulated dark, they can no longer suck. This condition
> > can be observed by looking for the black spot on a full darksucker
> > when it has reached maximum capacity of untransmitted dark... you
> > have surely noticed that dark completely surrounds a full darksucker
> > because it no longer has the capacity to suck any dark at all.
> >
> > A candle is a primitive darksucker. A new candle has a white wick.
> > You will notice that after the first use the wick turns black,
> > representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If you hold
> > a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn
> > black because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle.
> > It is of no use to plug a candle into an electrical outlet; it can
> > only collect dark..... it has no transmission capabilities.
> > Unfortunately, these primitive darksuckers have a very limited range
> > and are hazardous to operate because of the intense heat produced.
> >
> > There are also portable darksuckers called flashlights. The bulbs in
> > these devices collect dark which is passed to a dark storage unit
> > called a battery. When the dark storage unit is full, it must be
> > either emptied (a process called 'recharging') or replaced before the
> > portable darksucker can continue to operate. If you break open a
> > battery, you will find dense black dark inside, evidence that it is
> > actually a compact dark storage unit.
> >
> > The darksuckers on your automobile are high capacity units with great
> > range, thus they require much larger dark storage units mounted under
> > the hood of the vehicle. Since there is far more dark available in
> > the winter season, automobile dark storage units reach capacity more
> > frequently than they do in the summer, requiring 'recharging', or in
> > severe cases, total replacement.
> >
> > Dark has great mass. When dark is drawn into a darksucker, friction
> > caused by the speed and mass of the dark particles (called
> > anti-photons) actually generates substantial heat, thus it is unwise
> > to touch an operating darksucker. Candles represent a special
> > problem, as the dark must travel into a solid wick instead of through
> > clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat, making it very
> > dangerous to touch an operating candle.
> >
> > Because dark has such great mass, it is very heavy. If you swim just
> > below the surface of a lake, you see a lot of 'light' (absence of
> > dark, to be more precise). As you go deeper and deeper beneath the
> > surface, you will notice that it gets darker and darker. When you
> > reach a depth of approximately fifty feet, you are in total darkness.
> > This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake,
> > making it appear 'lighter' near the surface.
> >
> > The power companies have learned to use the dark which has settled to
> > the bottom of lakes and rivers by pushing it through turbines, which
> > generates the electricity used to pump the dark toward the ocean
> > where it may be safely stored for their devious purposes.
> >
> > Prior to the development of turbines, it was much more difficult to
> > get the dark from the rivers and lakes to the ocean. The Indians
> > recognized this problem, and developed means to assist the flow of
> > dark on its long journey to the ocean. When on a river in a canoe
> > travelling in the same direction as the flow of dark, they paddled
> > slowly, so as not to impede the flow of dark; but when they travelled
> > against the flow of dark, they paddled vigorously to help propel the
> > dark along its way.
> >
> > Scientists are working feverishly to develop exotic new
> > instumentation with which to measure the actual speed and energy
> > level of dark. While such instumentation is beyond the capabilities
> > of the average layman, you can actually perform a test to demonstrate
> > the unbelievable speed of dark, right in your own home.
> >
> > All that is required for the simple test is a closed desk drawer
> > situated in a bright room. You know from past experience that the
> > tightly shut drawer is FULL of dark. Now, place your hand firmly on
> > the drawer's handle. Quickly yank the drawer open.. the dark
> > immediately disappears, demonstrating the blinding speed with which
> > the dark travels to the nearest darksucker!
> >
> > The secrets of dark are at present known only to the power companies.
> > Dark must be very valuable, since they go to such lengths to collect
> > it in vast quantities. By some well hidden method, more modern power
> > 'generation' facilities have devised methods to hide their collection
> > of dark. The older facilities, however, usually have gargantuan piles
> > of solidified dark in huge fenced in areas. Visitors to these
> > facilities are told that the huge black piles of material are
> > supplies of coal, but such is not the case.
> >
> > The power companies have long used secret acronyms to disguise their
> > activities; 'D.C.' stands for 'Dark Conspiracy', while 'A.C.' is
> > suspected to represent the 'Alternate Conspiracy' which will most
> > likely be used exclusively once the secrets of D.C. are totally
> > understood. D.C. is rapidly yielding its secrets to the probing eyes
> > and instruments of honest scientists around the world. The U.S.
> > Attorney General is considering action to be taken against the power
> > companies for the theft and stockpiling of dark from 'consumers'. New
> > developments are being announced every day and we promise to keep the
> > public informed of these announcements as they occur via this
> > newsletter.
>
> .
>
>