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Thread: This ToU made me LOL!

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    192.168.10.100
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    This ToU made me LOL!

    I came across this ToU agreement today during work. It was too good not to share. Below are the highlights:

    "xxxxxxxwallracing.com" is the on-line service operated by Balls To The Wall Racing, LLC, on the World Wide Web of the Internet,
    Member shall be responsible for obtaining and maintaining all telephone, computer hardware and other equipment needed for access to and use of balls2wallracing.com and all charges related thereto.
    ^^ That was only part 4 (very short) and by this time I was too to read any further and find more good information.

    Below is the full-text with the website/company omitted. If you want a link let me know.

    XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC
    TERMS OF USE
    1. Definitions
    "xxxxxxwallracing.com" is the on-line service operated by XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC, on the World Wide Web of the Internet, consisting of promotional services, and content provided by XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC, affiliates of XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC and other third parties. "Member" means each person who establishes membership with xxxxxxwallracing.com, or who establishes a connection for access to and use of xxxxxxwallracing.com.
    2. General.
    (A) This Agreement sets forth the terms and conditions that apply to the use of xxxxxxwallracing.com by the member. Agreement also applies to each person who establishes a connection for access to and use of xxxxxxwallracing.com. By using xxxxxxwallracing.com (other than to read this Agreement for the first time), Member agrees to comply with all of the terms and conditions hereof. The right to use xxxxxxwallracing.com is personal to Member and is not transferable to any other person or entity. Member is responsible for all use of Member's Account (under any screen name or password) and for ensuring that all use of Member's Account complies fully with the provisions of this Agreement. Member shall be responsible for protecting the confidentiality of Member's password(s), if any.
    (B) XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC shall have the right at any time to change or discontinue any aspect or feature of xxxxxxwallracing.com, including, but not limited to, content, hours of availability, and equipment needed for access or use.
    3. Changed Terms.
    XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC shall have the right at any time to change or modify the terms and conditions applicable to Member's use of xxxxxxwallracing.com, or any part thereof, or to impose new conditions, including, but not limited to, adding fees and charges for use. Such changes, modifications, additions or deletions shall be effective immediately upon notice thereof, which may be given by means including, but not limited to, posting on xxxxxxwallracing.com, or by electronic or conventional mail, or by any other means by which Member obtains notice thereof. Any use of xxxxxxwallracing.com by Member after such notice shall be deemed to constitute acceptance by Member of such changes, modifications or additions.
    4. Equipment.
    Member shall be responsible for obtaining and maintaining all telephone, computer hardware and other equipment needed for access to and use of xxxxxxwallracing.com and all charges related thereto.
    5. Member Conduct.
    (A) Member shall use xxxxxxwallracing.com for lawful purposes only. Member shall not post or transmit through xxxxxxwallracing.com any material which violates or infringes in any way upon the rights of others, which is unlawful, threatening, abusive, defamatory, invasive of privacy or publicity rights, vulgar, obscene, profane or otherwise objectionable, which encourages conduct that would constitute a criminal offense, give rise to civil liability or otherwise violate any law, or which, without XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC's express prior approval, contains advertising or any solicitation with respect to products or services. Any conduct by a Member that in XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC's discretion restricts or inhibits any other Member from using or enjoying xxxxxxwallracing.com will not be permitted. Member shall not use xxxxxxwallracing.com to advertise or perform any commercial solicitation, including, but not limited to, the solicitation of users to become members or subscribers of other on-line information services competitive with .
    (B) xxxxxxwallracing.com contains copyrighted material, trademarks and other proprietary information, including, but not limited to, text, software, photos, graphics, and the entire contents of xxxxxxwallracing.com are copyrighted as a collective work under the United States copyright laws. XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC owns a copyright in the selection, coordination, arrangement and enhancement of such content, as well as in the content original to it. Member may not modify, publish, transmit, participate in the transfer or sale, create derivative works, or in any way exploit, any of the content, in whole or in part. Member may download copyrighted material for Member's personal use only. Except as otherwise expressly permitted under copyright law, no copying, redistribution, retransmission, publication or commercial exploitation of downloaded material will be permitted without the express permission of XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC and the copyright owner. In the event of any permitted copying, redistribution or publication of copyrighted material, no changes in or deletion of author attribution, trademark legend or copyright notice shall be made. Member acknowledges that it does not acquire any ownership rights by downloading copyrighted material.
    (C) Member shall not upload, post or otherwise make available on xxxxxxwallracing.com any material protected by copyright, trademark or other proprietary right without the express permission of the owner of the copyright, trademark or other proprietary right and the burden of determining that any material is not protected by copyright rests with Member. Member shall be solely liable for any damage resulting from any infringement of copyrights, proprietary rights, or any other harm resulting from such a submission. By submitting material to any public area of XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC, Member automatically grants, or warrants that the owner of such material has expressly granted XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, non-exclusive right and license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate and distribute such material (in whole or in part) worldwide and/or to incorporate it in other works in any form, media or technology now known or hereafter developed for the full term of any copyright that may exist in such material. Member also permits any other Member to access, view, store or reproduce the material for that Member's personal use. Subscriber hereby grants XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC the right to edit, copy, publish and distribute any material made available on xxxxxxwallracing.com by Member.
    (D) The foregoing provisions of Section 5 are for the benefit of XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC, its subsidiaries, affiliates and its third party content providers and licensors and each shall have the right to assert and enforce such provisions directly or on its own behalf.
    6. Disclaimer of Warranty; Limitation of Liability.
    (A) MEMBER EXPRESSLY AGREES THAT USE OF xxxxxxwallracing.com IS AT MEMBER'S SOLE RISK. NEITHER XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC ITS AFFILIATES NOR ANY OF THEIR RESPECTIVE EMPLOYEES, AGENTS, THIRD PARTY CONTENT PROVIDERS OR LICENSORS WARRANT THAT xxxxxxwallracing.com WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED OR ERROR FREE; NOR DO THEY MAKE ANY WARRANTY AS TO THE RESULTS THAT MAY BE OBTAINED FROM USE OF xxxxxxwallracing.com, OR AS TO THE ACCURACY, RELIABILITY OR CONTENT OF ANY INFORMATION, SERVICE, OR MERCHANDISE PROVIDED THROUGH xxxxxxwallracing.com.
    (B) xxxxxxwallracing.com IS PROVIDED ON AN "AS IS" BASIS WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, WARRANTIES OF TITLE OR IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OTHER THAN THOSE WARRANTIES WHICH ARE IMPLIED BY AND INCAPABLE OF EXCLUSION, RESTRICTION OR MODIFICATION UNDER THE LAWS APPLICABLE TO THIS AGREEMENT.
    (C) THIS DISCLAIMER OF LIABILITY APPLIES TO ANY DAMAGES OR INJURY CAUSED BY ANY FAILURE OF PERFORMANCE, ERROR, OMISSION, INTERRUPTION, DELETION, DEFECT, DELAY IN OPERATION OR TRANSMISSION, COMPUTER VIRUS, COMMUNICATION LINE FAILURE, THEFT OR DESTRUCTION OR UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS TO, ALTERATION OF, OR USE OF RECORD, WHETHER FOR BREACH OF CONTRACT, TORTIOUS BEHAVIOR, NEGLIGENCE, OR UNDER ANY OTHER CAUSE OF ACTION. SUBSCRIBER SPECIFICALLY ACKNOWLEDGES THAT XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC IS NOT LIABLE FOR THE DEFAMATORY, OFFENSIVE OR ILLEGAL CONDUCT OF OTHER SUBSCRIBERS OR THIRD-PARTIES AND THAT THE RISK OF INJURY FROM THE FOREGOING RESTS ENTIRELY WITH MEMBER.
    (D) IN NO EVENT WILL XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC OR ANY PERSON OR ENTITY INVOLVED IN CREATING, PRODUCING OR DISTRIBUTING xxxxxxwallracing.com, OR xxxxxxwallracing.com SOFTWARE, BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES, INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF THE USE OF OR INABILITY TO USE xxxxxxwallracing.com. MEMBER HEREBY ACKNOWLEDGES THAT THE PROVISIONS OF THIS SECTION SHALL APPLY TO ALL CONTENT ON xxxxxxwallracing.com.
    (E) IN ADDITION TO THE TERMS SET FORTH ABOVE NEITHER, XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC, NOR ITS AFFILIATES, INFORMATION PROVIDERS OR CONTENT PARTNERS SHALL BE LIABLE REGARDLESS OF THE CAUSE OR DURATION, FOR ANY ERRORS, INACCURACIES, OMISSIONS, OR OTHER DEFECTS IN, OR UNTIMELINESS OR UNAUTHENTICITY OF, THE INFORMATION CONTAINED WITHIN xxxxxxwallracing.com, OR FOR ANY DELAY OR INTERRUPTION IN THE TRANSMISSION THEREOF TO THE USER, OR FOR ANY CLAIMS OR LOSSES ARISING THEREFROM OR OCCASIONED THEREBY. NONE OF THE FOREGOING PARTIES SHALL BE LIABLE FOR ANY THIRD-PARTY CLAIMS OR LOSSES OF ANY NATURE, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, LOST PROFITS, PUNITIVE OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES. NEITHER, XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC, NOR ITS AFFILIATES, INFORMATION PROVIDERS OR CONTENT PARTNERS WARRANT OR GUARANTEE THE TIMELINESS, SEQUENCE, ACCURACY OR COMPLETENESS OF THIS INFORMATION. ADDITIONALLY, THERE ARE NO WARRANTIES AS TO THE RESULTS OBTAINED FROM THE USE OF THE INFORMATION.
    7. Monitoring.
    XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC shall have the right, but not the obligation, to monitor the content of xxxxxxwallracing.com, including chat rooms and forums, to determine compliance with this Agreement and any operating rules established by XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC and to satisfy any law, regulation or authorized government request. XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC shall have the right in its sole discretion to edit, refuse to post or remove any material submitted to or posted on xxxxxxwallracing.com. Without limiting the foregoing, XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC shall have the right to remove any material that XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC, in its sole discretion, finds to be in violation of the provisions hereof or otherwise objectionable.
    8. Indemnification.
    Member agrees to defend, indemnify and hold harmless XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC, its affiliates and their respective directors, officers, employees and agents from and against all claims and expenses, including attorneys' fees, arising out of the use of xxxxxxwallracing.com by Member or Member's Account.
    9. Termination.
    Either XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC or Member may terminate this Agreement at any time. Without limiting the foregoing, XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC shall have the right to immediately terminate Member's Account in the event of any conduct by Member which XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC, in its sole discretion, considers to be unacceptable, or in the event of any breach by Member of this Agreement. The provisions of Sections 5(B), 5(C), 5(D), 6, 8, 10 and this Section 9 shall survive termination of this Agreement.
    10. Trademarks.
    xxxxxxwallracing.com and its logos are trademarks of XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC. All rights reserved. All other trademarks appearing on xxxxxxwallracing.com are the property of their respective owners.
    11. Third Party Content.
    XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC is a distributor (and not a publisher) of content supplied by third parties and Members. Accordingly, XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC has no more editorial control over such content than does a public library, bookstore, or newsstand. Any opinions, advice, statements, services, offers, or other information or content expressed or made available by third parties, including information providers, Members or any other user of xxxxxxwallracing.com, are those of the respective author(s) or distributor(s) and not of XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC. Neither XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC nor any third-party provider of information guarantees the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any content, nor its merchantability or fitness for any particular purpose. (Refer to Section 6 above for the complete provisions governing limitation of liabilities and disclaimers of warranty.)
    XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC neither endorses nor is responsible for the accuracy or reliability of any opinion, advice or statement made on xxxxxxwallracing.com by anyone other than authorized XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC employee spokespersons while acting in their official capacities. Under no circumstances will XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC be liable for any loss or damage caused by a Member's reliance on information obtained through the xxxxxxwallracing.com. It is the responsibility of Member to evaluate the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any information, opinion, advice or other content available through xxxxxxwallracing.com. Please seek the advice of professionals, as appropriate, regarding the evaluation of any specific information, opinion, advice or other content.
    12. Miscellaneous.
    This Agreement and any operating rules for xxxxxxwallracing.com established by XXXXX XX XXX Racing, LLC constitute the entire agreement of the parties with respect to the subject matter hereof, and supersede all previous written or oral agreements between the parties with respect to such subject matter. This Agreement shall be construed in accordance with the laws of the State of Michigan, without regard to its conflict of laws rules. No waiver by either party of any breach or default hereunder shall be deemed to be a waiver of any preceding or subsequent breach or default. The section headings used herein are for convenience only and shall not be given any legal import.
    "Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

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  2. #2
    Appears to be an online racing league/forums Terms of Use Agreement?

    I suppose I fail to see the humor that you do in it? I'm sure something there is absolutely side-splitting. Really.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    192.168.10.100
    Age
    39
    Posts
    4,486
    NO!! That's what's so funny!!! It's just a typical company website...a VERY bad, informationless site, who's contact us link doesn't even work...
    "Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    "Honesty is the First Chapter in the Book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson

    Desktop:
    AMD Phenom II x6 1100T @ 3.3Ghz
    MSi 890FXA-GD70
    16GB G.Skill DDR3-1600
    Asus HD6950 2GB GDDR5 PCI-Ex16
    4x 1.5TB WD SATA w/64MB cache in RAID10
    2x Asus 22x DVD/CD +/-RW DL SATA
    Rosewill Xtreme Series 950W PSU
    2x 23" 5ms Asus Widescreen LCD
    Laptop:
    15" Aluminum MacBook Pro
    Intel Core 2 Duo 2.53Ghz
    4GB DDR3 @ 1067MHz
    320GB SATA 7200RPM HDD

    **View My Forum**

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