Twenty Nine Lines To Make You Smile

[jholland1964]

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing

10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18 Procrastinate Now!

19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22..Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26..Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

[Mathster]

[TurcoLoco]

Hahah, I had seen a few before but these were great!!

I have to revise this:

22..Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

A lot of oldfarts seem to try and slip into handicap spaces simply because they are...old!


PS. no pun intended J

[jholland1964]

You know I don't have a handicapped plate or sticker on my car, know some who do though who LOOK fine but have severe heart problems, or bad knees...the handicapped parking places are only for cars WITH handicap plates or stickers. If you need one then ask your doctor for one, he has the forms for you so you can get them...no matter what your age happens to be.
I used to have one for my car when my mother lived with us. She had severe rheumatoid arthritis and was in a wheel chair. But I never used it unless she was with me and I threw the tag away when she died.
I get ticked at folks who use those places without the stickers or plates.

[PhilliePhan]

[TurcoLoco]

I totally agree with you Judy and liked I said I was not referring to you in any way and you are right some people might have problems that qualifies them as handicapped which may not be as apparent. I have seen quite a few old folks in Phoenix who park in those spaces with no tags or plates and no one say anything....it just bugs me that is all.


Nice sticker PP! So how exactly did you get it?

[Mathster]

You know I don't have a handicapped plate or sticker on my car, know some who do though who LOOK fine but have severe heart problems, or bad knees...the handicapped parking places are only for cars WITH handicap plates or stickers. If you need one then ask your doctor for one, he has the forms for you so you can get them...no matter what your age happens to be.
I used to have one for my car when my mother lived with us. She had severe rheumatoid arthritis and was in a wheel chair. But I never used it unless she was with me and I threw the tag away when she died.
I get ticked at folks who use those places without the stickers or plates.

Handy capped spots wouldn't be so bad if they didn't form a 5 mile exclusion zone around the store.
The town I live in is about 25000 people. The first 10 car spots of EVERY row at wal-mart is take for hand-capped. we are talking about 120 plus handy capped spots. and they are usually full with stickered vehicles.

[Gizmokid2005]

LMAO!! Thanks judy I needed that!!! And PP - I'm stealing your sticker, cause I"m printing some and handing them out. I see SO many people who park in those spots...it's ridiculous. My grandma has one because she has really bad arthritis and can't make it anywhere without something to lean on or her cane...its really disgusting when people park there just because they think they can get away with it....




BTW - Do you have a better res pic of that?

[PhilliePhan]

BTW - Do you have a better res pic of that?

No - Sorry.

But, you can get 15 for a dollar here ---> http://www.fakecrap.com/products/han...ed_ticket.html

http://www.fakecrap.com/

[Mathster]

no, I dont have a better picture.