Abdicate: to give up all hope of having a flat stomach.
Atheism: A non-prophet organization.
Balderdash: a rapidly receeding hairline.
Carcinoma: a valley in California notable for it`s heavy smog.
Coffee: one who is coughed on.
Esplanade: to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Eyedropper: a clumsy optimologist.
Flatulence: emergency vehicle that transports victims of steamroller accidents.
Innuendo: an Italian suppository.
Instigator: do-it-yourself reptile kit. Just add water.
Lymph: to walk with a lisp.
Mortor: what tobacco companies add to cigarettes.
Paradox: two physicians.
Rectitude: the dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Semantics: pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood.
Zebra: ze garment which holds ze bosom.
Reincarnation: the belif that after you are gone you will return as a lapel flower.