Perhaps some here will understand what this writer feels.
*
10 Dec, 2011 Posted by Sari in Uncategorized
Death is never easy. We’ve all had to deal with the loss of a loved
one, a mentor, a co-worker, etc. Today, the Geeks to Go family has to
deal with the loss of a colleague, known online as SpySentinel.
SpySentinel was a malware helper here, and in the past year became a
mod. He was a respected member of our staff, and his death leaves a big
hole in our hearts. In real life, he was a college student. He started
his college career in the computing field, but realized it wasn’t where
his heart was. He changed his major to elementary education, and was
looking forward to becoming a teacher and mentor to young children. He
would have succeeded, had he had the opportunity.
His death was not the first one I’ve experienced in the online
community, unfortunately. It does, however, show how the Internet and
online communities change the grieving paradigm. I never met
SpySentinel in person, but I spent quite a bit of time chatting with him
on IM. He treated me as a confidante, sharing personal history,
aspirations, and asking for advice in his personal life. I feel he
trusted me, and had I had the opportunity to meet him in person, I think
we could have carried on an easy conversation based on what we already
knew about one another. I never talked about him to my immediate
friends or family; there was no need, because he was one of my virtual
friends. It didn’t make his presence less important in my life, but I
can divide my friends into two groups: online friends, and real-time
friends. There has been some overlap, as I’ve gotten to meet people
face-to-face that I had initially only known online, but for the most
part, there is a clear dichotomy.
That dichotomy is painfully apparent when a member of the online
community passes away. How do you grieve? The other people that you
know who are grieving are also virtual friends, and your family doesn’t
have the same relationship with the online friend that they would have
with a neighborhood, school, or family friend. I’m trying to find my
way through this paradigm, and I don’t like it. I feel the loss of
SpySentinel deeply, but it’s more abstract to my family. I want to hug
the people who knew him, but they’re all online; hugs are just virtual.
For now, I take comfort in knowing that there are many of us grieving
in the same way, and missing SpySentinel’s presence. I know I’m not
alone in my loss. This doesn’t make it easier, but I realize I still
have people with which I can share my feelings.
SpySentinel, Matt. rest in peace. Your life was too short, but your
impact was felt. You are not forgotten.
http://www.geekstogo.com/2332/farewell-spysentinel/
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