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Thread: You think your job is bad

  1. #1
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    You think your job is bad

    Then listen to this...

    Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
    E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

    Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all . Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

    As you know, m y office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

    Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

    May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
    "Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    "Honesty is the First Chapter in the Book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson

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  2. #2
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    Hahaha....an oldie but it has been a while so I had to read almost the whole thing to recall.

    One thing that I am suspicious about is you would think a 20K water pump have a fricken filter of some kind to prevent stuff like that getting sucked in, after all this is an ocean!

  3. #3
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  4. #4
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    Nowhere in there does it say that it's not true so
    "Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    "Honesty is the First Chapter in the Book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson

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  5. #5
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    it says unconfirmed... or something like that...

    I didn't say it was false either... just thats the snopes on it.
    back from hiatus.

  6. #6
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    Could have been worse, some Jelly's can kill you with one sting, imagine grinding a more venomous jelly into your but crack.. You'd be dead in 5 minutes.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by cauzomb View Post
    Could have been worse, some Jelly's can kill you with one sting, imagine grinding a more venomous jelly into your but crack.. You'd be dead in 5 minutes.
    If I had something got in my buttcrack, my first and most important thought'd be "wtf, something is in my buttcrack??!!"

    Can you imagine the autopsy report for your own death eternally stating "Cause of Death: Poisonous fish in the ass"? How embarrassing.

    lol

  8. #8
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    ROFL!!!! You, TL, are always good at making me laugh...
    "Best to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    "Honesty is the First Chapter in the Book of Wisdom" - Thomas Jefferson

    Desktop:
    AMD Phenom II x6 1100T @ 3.3Ghz
    MSi 890FXA-GD70
    16GB G.Skill DDR3-1600
    Asus HD6950 2GB GDDR5 PCI-Ex16
    4x 1.5TB WD SATA w/64MB cache in RAID10
    2x Asus 22x DVD/CD +/-RW DL SATA
    Rosewill Xtreme Series 950W PSU
    2x 23" 5ms Asus Widescreen LCD
    Laptop:
    15" Aluminum MacBook Pro
    Intel Core 2 Duo 2.53Ghz
    4GB DDR3 @ 1067MHz
    320GB SATA 7200RPM HDD

    **View My Forum**

  9. #9
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    Remove jelly fish and my job is just as bad 65% of the time. But hey at least Uncle Sam uses some lube before he ****s my ass raw.

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